Takeout Trickery
by ZacKLP
Summary: (DCAU) Tired of waiting for Bruce to make the first move, Diana decides to take matters into her own hands. BMWW


**TAKEOUT TRICKERY**

_**Characters belong to DC.**_

_**This is my entry for the WonderBatKeywords event day 5, intelligence. I promise my next fic won't revolve around food again. Sorry in advance, this one isn't as polished as I'd like it to be. Anyway, hope you enjoy!**_

One of the few upsides of Batman's decision to infamously crash the watchtower into the Thanagarian's little science project, was the opportunity to implement some much needed adjustments. His private lab on the founder's deck was now his home away from home, a sanctuary for him to work on case files, develop his arsenal of gadgets and have the occasional brooding session. It was a state of the art facility, with such advanced technology that it almost made the rest of the watchtower seem prehistoric. But The Dark Knight had made one crucial mistake, a glaring error that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He gave the other founders access codes. Bruce made it very clear to the rest of them that he was only to be disturbed in the case of an emergency, unfortunately what constituted as an emergency to him wasn't the same for the other heroes. How he rued that decision, that idiotic choice which left him at the mercy of constant intrusions from his fellow founders.

Upon hearing the doors to his lab whoosh open for the fifth time in the last hour, Batman lifted his head from his microscope to bark at the intruder. "For the last time Kent," he bit out with a deadly venom, "I'm not joining your little beach volleyball tournament. It's stupid, and a complete waste of time."

"I don't know Bruce, seeing you in a tiny pair of shorts doesn't seem like the worst idea in the world."

The voice that responded to him wasn't the one he was expecting, but it was one that he was happy to hear. Making a conscious effort to remove the small smirk that was on his lips, Batman turned around to face the Amazon.

"Princess," he said calmly, his eyes falling onto the beautiful woman leaning onto the side of the doorway, who was flashing a smile that would warm even the coldest of hearts. "What can I do for you?" he asked, whilst hiding his irritation at his now elevated heart rate and the butterflies that seemed to flutter around in his stomach whenever she was near.

"I thought you might be hungry," Diana told him, "So I brought us some lunch," she smiled sweetly, holding up a plastic bag filled with takeout, it's tantalising aroma wafting through the air.

"No thank you, I'm not hungry," Bruce answered, his tone cold and uninviting as he turned back to his work. Unfazed by his routine behaviour, Diana strode confidently to the workstation he was hunched over and propped herself onto the bench top.

As she dangled the Chinese takeout in front of his nose, the Dark Knight's biological reflexes betrayed him, his stomach growling fiercely. "You can't lie to me Dark Knight," Diana said with a smug grin, "I know you're hungry. You haven't left your lab for the past five hours."

Bruce couldn't hide the intrigue in his voice, a proud smirk forming on his face, knowing that she was watching him. "Keeping tabs on me Princess?" he asked in a low rumble, keeping his head down so she couldn't see his growing smile.

"Call it professional courtesy," Diana replied, her cheeks now a rosy red having been caught out by him. "Come on Bruce, just give me fifteen minutes of your time so we can have a nice meal," she proposed, "Then I promise I'll leave you alone."

Bruce took a deep breath, to settle his nerves more than anything else, "Five minutes," he sighed.

"Thirteen," she shot back.

"Six."

"Twelve."

"Seven."

"Ten. Final offer," Diana's tone was stern, leaving no room for negotiation. "As strong as you are, even the mighty Batman is not invulnerable to indigestion," she reminded him.

"Fine. Ten minutes."

"Great!" Diana beamed proudly, her smile was infectious, even the fearsome Batman couldn't help but grin, "Let's eat!"

A few minutes became almost an hour, the pair having gotten lost in conversation, swapping stories about their latest adventures and just enjoying each other's company. This was why Bruce was always apprehensive about spending time with her. Whenever he was with Diana time would just fly by, he could spend hours just talking with her. She was so charming and witty that conversing with her was so simple, it felt like second nature, almost as easy as breathing. It was this comfort that worried him, that sense of peace in his heart and mind that washed over him whenever he was with her. Those feelings always seemed to quell the pain and rage within him, what he thought was the driving force behind his relentless crusade for justice. He couldn't let that happen, his mission was too important.

The two heroes continued talking, Bruce's heart skipping a beat every time he heard her angelic laugh. If he had his way, it'd be the only sound he would ever hear. Despite having been talking for almost an hour, he had just noticed that she'd barely touched her food, the dumplings and egg rolls on her still full plate were in complete disarray, covered with puncture marks on all sides.

"You haven't touched your food," he asked, quite curious as to why she hadn't eaten anything yet. After all, it was her idea to have lunch together.

"I guess I haven't," Diana murmured with slight surprise as she looked down at her plate.

"Come on Princess, I can't finish this all by myself," Bruce declared with a pat on his stomach. "I have to watch my figure," he joked, "Some of us weren't blessed with the metabolism of the Gods."

"From what I can tell, your figure is just fine," Diana said with a hearty chuckle.

"My figure is more than just fine," he replied with mock indignation.

A giggle managed to escape her mouth, as she raked her teeth over her lower lip thinking about his muscular arms and chest she'd only got glimpses of in the past. "I don't believe you," she lightly teased him, "I guess you'll just have to prove it."

"Eat some food first, then we'll talk," he instinctively flirted back.

Grabbing a pair of chopsticks awkwardly in her hand, Diana fumbled around with her grip before attempting to pick up some food. It didn't help that the Dark Knight was watching her every move, she could feel his gaze roaming over her, adding to the nerves that were already coursing through her body. She continued to prod at the egg rolls on her plate, but they managed to escape her every attempt, slipping and sliding about almost tauntingly.

Her frustration was evident, a scowl now covering her face as she jabbed rapidly at her plate. The food seemed to have other ideas, moving around with more speed than Flash and more agility than an olympic gymnast. Furious grunts soon followed, Diana gritting her teeth harder and harder with every failed bid to capture her food. Bruce sat in silence, trying his hardest not to burst out laughing at her plight, it was absolutely adorable to see her like this.

Frustration soon turned into rage, countless Greek curses escaping her lips which such intensity that would make even Posiedon blush. Bruce couldn't help but tease her a little, she was both gorgeous and frightening when she was upset like this, an intoxicating and deadly combination. "I'm guessing they didn't have chopsticks on Themyscira," he chuckled at the irate Amazon. "You do know what these are, right?" Bruce asked smugly.

"I know what chopsticks are Bruce!" Diana hissed furiously, sending a heated glare his way that caused him to shift ever so slightly away from her. "The origin of chopsticks dates back to 1200 B.C, where the earliest known bronze set was found in the Henan province of China," she bit out sharply.

Her legendary temper appeared to be getting the better of her, it was a simply miracle that she hadn't snapped the chopsticks in two. After failing yet again, Diana growled fiercely, "Go to Tartarus!" she yelled, throwing a dumpling into the air before hurling a chopstick at it with deadly accuracy. In a blink the dumpling was impaled on the wall, quiet then taking over the room. The uncomfortable silence was soon interrupted by stifled laughs slowly making their way out of the mouth of the Caped Crusader, who was holding his lips together tightly to prevent himself from falling over in laughter.

"Do you find this funny?" she growled with an unnerving glare that would've left any person with soiled undergarments.

"No," Bruce answered quickly without hesitation, "I find it hilarious," he chuckled with a cheeky grin. "The mighty Wonder Woman, Princess of the Amazons," he then paused for emphasis, irritating her further. "Foiled by a pair of chopsticks," he smirked, taking great pleasure in riling her up.

Diana's silence following his taunts left him feeling somewhat guilty. It pained him to see her beautiful face so downcast, the sparkle in her eyes that drew him in over and over again, gradually fading. She was the most determined person he knew, her fiery spirit and unbreakable will earned both his respect and admiration. Deciding to finally help her out, Bruce removed his glove and gently grasped her hand.

"This is how you hold it," he said softly, his throat becoming drier by the moment, relishing the touch of her skin against his. He could hear her breath hitch as he guided her fingers to the correct positions.

Now holding the chopsticks with the proper grip, Diana tried again to capture her elusive prey. Her attempt was unsuccessful and with a heavy sigh she tossed them onto her plate, pushing it away from her. "Forget it," she mumbled to herself.

Knowing she was one to never back down from a challenge, Bruce decided to give her some extra motivation. "How about this Princess, if you can eat three dumplings in thirty seconds using only chopsticks, I'll do anything you want," he proposed with a cocky grin. Normally he would never be so reckless to give such an open ended option, but he was certain of his success.

"Anything?" Diana asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Anything," he replied confidently.

"Deal," she eagerly agreed.

"But," Bruce cautioned, raising his hand, "If you can't, you have to clean the Batmobile _and_ the Batplane. Inside and out. Tim spilled grape juice all over the cockpit floor and it's nearly impossible to get out."

"You're on," she answered assuredly, "How many chances do I get?"

Bruce decided to be generous, based on everything that had happened, she had no chance of even picking one up. "Three," he replied with a smirk.

Diana's first two attempts failed miserably, not a single piece of food managed to make its way off her plate.

"Sorry Princess, looks like it's over," he smiled smugly.

"We'll just see about that," she grinned mischievously back at him. Suddenly with great skill, Diana twirled the chopsticks around her fingers to the correct position. She gave him a quick wink before masterfully tossing the dumplings into the air, catching them all in her mouth. After a large gulp, Diana turned to face Bruce who now had his jaw on the floor, his eyes wide with pure shock, not believing what he'd just seen. "You're a very good teacher," she whispered into his ear.

"You played me," he accused her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied, feigning innocence with a shrug of her shoulders, "But since I won the bet, I want you to take me dancing tonight."

Making her escape before he could get a word in, Diana leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, then hastily made her way out of his lab.

Bruce sat silently on the floor in both frustration and admiration as he watched her leave. His brain had yet to process what just happened, his face in utter bewilderment.

Poking her head back into the room, Diana smiled sweetly at her new date for the evening, "I'll be at the manor at eight, see you later!"


End file.
